From Resolutions to Meaningful Goals: Approaching a Brand, New Year

At the close of each year, many people set up what are commonly called, “New Year’s resolutions,” which may be defined as a promise to do something differently next year, often framed as improvement of some kind of behaviour. Common themes include weight loss, eating healthier, exercising, getting more sleep, or focusing on that hobby maybe you’ve been wanting to devote more time to.

Often, however, people find that their good intentions don’t come to fruition in the way they had hoped. This can occur for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, a person might aspire to a resolution that is more in line with others’ expectations than what is truly meaningful to them. Or, perhaps the intention that is set is desirable personally, but a bit too vague, or without a practical plan to realize the change.

This is where so-called “SMART” goals can be helpful, which is a term that originated in a management journal in the 1980’s, and stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and timely. We will take a closer look at each of these.

Specific – Let’s take weight loss as an example, which is a very common goal. If a person holds a general sense that they want to lose weight, this is less helpful than having an idea of how much of a reduction is wanted, and over what interval of time. For example, someone might want to lose 15 pounds, at 4 pounds a month. Defining a goal like this might merit some extra support, or input, such as talking with a doctor or dietitian who can help a person come up with parameters that are based on a person’s body type, and healthy weight range. Specific goals can take a bit more consideration, but are often worth it to give people something concrete to aim for.

Measurable – Although this may seem pretty straightforward for weight in terms of numbers, trying to find a way to measure progress is helpful for most goals. For example, if you would like to get to bed a bit earlier, you can track your progress in a notebook, your phone, or in one of many apps out there, so that you can look back and see how it is going. This can assist in creating momentum, especially in being able to remind yourself of the steps forward you have already made.

Achievable – Facing a general goal in its entirety can feel like climbing a mountain. It is just fine to have big goals, like climbing an actual mountain! But, even mountain climbers start smaller to gain experience, and those who tackle the real, big summits often do a lot of planning to break down such a goal to support success. As humans, when we are overwhelmed by a large goal this can stop us from progressing, let alone starting. Achievable steps are those that feel do-able. For many people, for example, thinking of losing weight can feel very daunting. But, perhaps making an appointment with a health care provider to have a check-up and to talk about this goal might seem more approachable. Consider brainstorming your goal into smaller steps, and then ponder where it makes sense to begin in a way that feels as easy as possible to get some initial momentum going.

Relevant – This one might be easily overlooked, but can be a significant point to gain clarity. Essentially, it involves considering whether a goal is actually personally meaningful and if it has priority for you right now. Goals that are set out of a sense of self-criticism or a momentary impulse are less likely to be pursued than those connected to our values, or what truly matters to us. Let’s take weight as an example. Many people have noticed some weight gain over the pandemic for numerous reasons, including less access to gyms and activities, and more stress that has led to increased emotional eating to cope. People I have spoken with about this are overwhelmingly not happy about it. Those who are taking action in this area seem to devote less time and energy to focusing on how they are comparing with others, and have found ways to focus more on values such as overall health, self-compassion, and self-appreciation of their whole value as a person (versus self-worth as defined by their weight alone). That is not to say that people don’t still want to lose weight. But, in a paradoxical way, it seems like the more that people can find a meaning in weight loss that is not precisely about weight, the more this seems to support such a goal.

Timely – As human beings, structure can support our progress. Having a realistic timeline with some markers of progress along the way can be helpful. Since we tend to look ahead to what we need to work on, or to what is not as we want it to be, celebrating those small wins along the way can give us motivation. Again, this involves breaking down the overall goal, figuring out what milestones make sense, and then making sure to take the time to celebrate them. For that person with a goal of losing 15 pounds, perhaps having even one or two supportive people to text or to share their incremental weight loss goals, like that first 5 pounds, can assist with optimism, and forward momentum.

In short, getting clear on the ‘why’ of wanting change, and then using some method to break down the ‘how’ can go a long way to being able to not only set personally relevant goals, but to actually act on them. As one year draws to a close and another is dawning, taking time to reflect and to dream can be a worthwhile process, helping you to consult the wisdom of your own, inner compass of what truly matters, and what steps forward will align with this valued direction.

I hope this article has given you a few useful ideas. If you believe you may need some additional support at this time, feel free to reach out with a message or a phone call for a free consultation. I would be happy to connect with you about how I might be able to help you along your path.