Why and How Practicing Gratitude is Helpful

So, what is meant when we speak about gratitude? Apparently, the word gratitude originally derives from a Latin word, ‘gratia,’ which means grace, thanks, or gratefulness, depending upon the situation. Gratitude means an attitude of thankfulness, or appreciation for what a person has received. Such blessings may be intangible, like waking up to a sunny summer day, or more tangible things, like having a car that helps us to get from here to there. Other items that often show up on people’s gratitude lists include the presence of loved ones in our lives (examples: family, friends, a partner, pets), enjoying fun times or a good laugh, having a day off, personal belongings, sentimental items, and having money in the bank. Essentially, in being grateful, we acknowledge the goodness in our lives.

Sometimes, such acknowledgement comes to us when we realize we have taken something valued for granted. A former meditation teacher of mine once told our gathered group a story about how he had an eye condition for a year, and all that time he had been concerned he might be losing his sight. Once his condition resolved, he spoke of how delighted he was, more than ever before, to be able to see clearly. I have noticed this type of realization occurring a lot during our times, with the global pandemic and news of social and political unrest and oppression in the world, prompting people to add items to their gratitude lists like being in good health, having employment, easy access to clean drinking water, feeling a sense of safety in one’s community, and having the freedom and opportunity to go to school and to get an education.

But, why is it that cultivating gratitude can be helpful? On the surface, especially if someone is going through a difficult period in life, the very notion of looking for what to be thankful for might feel like an insult to the very real challenges that are present. Though, as it turns out, a growing body of research suggests that bringing in gratitude can help people shift their attention from a fixation on unpleasant emotions, including envy and resentment. Such a capacity may actually help people to manage going through a hard time. One study out of Berkeley, California tested 300 people over a number of weeks, and those whose treatment for anxiety and depression included practices of writing gratitude letters reported significantly better mental health, even 12 weeks after the study had concluded.

Such benefits, it seems, are also not only available for those experiencing life challenges. Ongoing research suggests that gratitude can have some profound benefits for everyone’s well-being. These positive gains can include better mood, lower stress, an increase in a positive sense of self (sometimes called self-esteem), improved interest and enthusiasm for life, lower levels of irritability, improved sleep, a reduction in inflammation, and a reduced heart rate.

Indeed, studies that have used fMRI scanners to look at the brain suggest practicing gratitude can even change our brains. One study that had select participants engage in a “pay it forward task” to help others showed that focusing on a cause for good increased activity in areas of the brain connected with learning and attention, suggesting a shift in focus towards being more aware of opportunities to express gratitude, and also the experience of being grateful.

One reason given as to why gratitude can help us to weather difficulties is that it tends to help us to widen our attention from a narrow focus on ourselves and what we don’t like about our lives to instead looking at a wider picture of ourselves and our situation, including our communities and the world within which we live. Since going through difficult times, such as experiencing challenges with mental health, can involve a sense of being small, and alone in difficulty, cultivating gratitude may support people to realize that they are not alone, and that not only do other people have struggles in life, but that life is not only about struggle. There can be room for goodness too, if we deliberately take the time to remind ourselves of it.

Having said that, the research is also clear that connecting to the benefits of gratitude requires some repetition. That is why it is often referred to as a practice, meaning that it is done frequently so as to become a part of a person’s regular life. Though, such practice does not require a lot of time and energy. It just needs to be relatively consistent.

The following are five examples of practical ways you might explore the power of gratitude in your own life.

Keep a gratitude journal. Some people have a small notebook that they make entries in each day. A practice like this might be as simple as listing three things at the end of each day that you are thankful for. Such items might include an unexpected visit from a friend, being able to successfully complete a task or project, or recalling a peaceful moment sipping tea and looking at the sun rise, or set. You may notice some of the same items come up, a lot. I also like to encourage people to be curious what else they might list from day to day. What is left out? Is there anything else, big or small, that is a blessing? It can be helpful to keep a journal somewhere you are likely to see it and remember your practice. Listing a few items can take less than a few minutes, and studies have shown that keeping a journal like this can have a positive impact on mood in as little as two weeks.

Thank someone. As human beings, we all like to feel appreciated. If anyone lately has said or done something that made a positive impact in your life, consider letting them know. You might send a thank you card, as ‘real mail’ is much more of a special novelty in these days of technological communication! Though, even a quick text, email, or social media message will likely brighten someone’s day. By extension, since we are hardwired as human beings to connect with others, often doing something in support of someone else often feels good to us, too.

Set a gratitude alarm on your phone, or portable device. You might consider setting a reminder to show up during certain times of day, like lunch hour or a break time. The message could be as simple as, “Consider right now what you are grateful for,” and then you can take a few moments to reflect, naming or internally describing several items that resonate for you as something you would like to appreciate.

Make and fill a gratitude jar. Those of you who like crafts and creative projects might have fun with this one. You could take an old mason jar, or other container, and decorate it up however you like. You might then keep a little note pad or slips of paper in a smaller container, nearby. Each morning or evening, write a few items on separate pieces of paper that you are grateful for, and then fold them and put them in the jar. On a harder day, see what it might be like to take some items out of the jar and read them. This can be a reminder of what is good in your life that can help add a bit of balance to your perspective on your situation.

Share a practice of gratitude. Like many practices in life, it can be hard to keep things going on your own. Of course, just with every practice, if you forget, you can always return to it when you remember. It’s okay. Having said that, sometimes bringing in someone to practice with you can not only help with consistency, but can also become another pleasant way to share being together. During the pandemic, many people have benefitted from having regular check-in times with people in their lives, even over the phone, or virtually. Consider asking people in your life whether anyone would be willing to go back and forth, sharing three to ten items each of you are grateful for. This might be a daily ritual with a partner, or a weekly practice with a friend. Chances are, and the research shows, both will likely benefit, and you may even find you enjoy and look forward to these gratitude check-in’s.

In considering this subject of gratitude, it’s important to note that all of us have up’s and downs. Whether we are going through a period where things are mostly feeling good, or not, connecting in with what we do have, and what we can be grateful for seems to help to boost our mood, and support our overall health and well-being.

Consider whether more consciously incorporating gratitude into your life might feel like a worthwhile practice. As it turns out, that age-old saying that it is important to count our blessings actually has a lot of truth to it.

I hope you have found something helpful in this post. If you might like to explore how bringing in the support of an experienced therapist might be of benefit at this time in your life, feel free to send me a message, or give me a call for a free consultation. Best wishes, Holly